I don't like to lose

I have discovered something about myself... It doesn't matter if I want to win or not, I still don't want to LOSE. We had a dealers tournament tonight at Mandalay Bay with a $55 buy-in and the top 4 of the 60 person tournament got an entry into the $1000 super-satellite where the top 10% got entries to the 10k main event. So we are talking a $55 investment to possibly win over 1 million dollars... But it is one heck of a long shot, and I have to play for at least 5 days to get ANYTHING back from it. (1 day of a Super Sat, and 4 days of the main event before I reach the money). I am making about $300 a day dealing the WPT events, so that means I am giving up $1500 in earnings at a miniscule chance of winning a whole lot of money... If I KNEW I was going to win I would do it in a heartbeat... however I would really rather have the guaranteed $1500 right now.

I can't bring myself NOT to play in the dealers tournament, the chance to play against my fellow dealers was too much fun to pass up... and of course I had to do well, and then I wanted to win! Unfortunately they paid top 4 and I bubbled out in 5th. BAH! It sucked even worse as I got my pocket 9's busted by 8/3 off when I was the short stack. I really did feel I played pretty well but I still have a lot to learn about tournament poker, when to make moves, reading players, etc.

Another interesting tidbit from the dealers tournament... Back when I was in Atlanta playing bar tournaments there was a dealer who dealt on occasion who I heard other players commenting was a "Vegas dealer who was visiting friends here". I watched her deal a few times and was amazed.. she was so fast, and so accurate, and had such good control of the game. It was like she was flying around the table she was so good. I could only hope to be even half as good as she was one day.... now fast forward to our current tournament and the dealer in the box is this cute blonde with a slight accent. She mentions she is from Atlanta and it suddenly dawns on me THAT is why she looks familiar (I thought it was just because she was cute and blonde... it happens, leave me alone). So we talk a little and she confirms she used to deal at Jeffries and Rafters and that was where I knew her from. She starts up dealing and I realize just HOW much better I am now than I used to be... Now she looks very good as a dealer, but no better than I am... It is just amazing how much of a difference it makes when you have a different perspective.

My plan during the WPT events was to play after work one day, and then go to bed early the next. This would allow me to play a decent amount and still keep up on my sleep (it is hard when you prefer to sleep 10 hours a day if allowed to). Tonight was suppose to be my playing day, however I ended up in the dealer tournament for over 4 hours... so home I am and I will play after work tomorrow night.... so now I have to get to bed so I can be well rested and play until 1 or 2 AM tomorrow night if the games at the Rio are good.