Constantly amazed

I am almost 35 years old... you would think that after awhile I would not be surpised anymore. Yet, I still am... let me give you some stories from vegas to explain.

- They have cup holders in the bathroom stalls.... seriously.
- I live in a desert, yet I am 45 mins from a ski resort.
- I live in a desert that has flood zones.
- If you are 80 years old and have to gum a piece of watermelon to death to eat it... A push-up bra and a low cut shirt is NOT the outfit for you to wear EVER. And DEFINATELY not acrosss the poker table from ME!

Friday night I tried to play at the Wynn. A girl I met and I were heading over there (They have strawberry julius.... yummy), I got there and the wait was over 2 hours for a table! but Jennifer wasn't there yet, so I waited... Jen calls tells me she is stuck downtown and how is the wait. I tell her 2 hours+ and that I am going to the Rio (which has no wait). The game at the Rio is donktastic as usual.... unfortunately I am frustrated from waiting so long to play, a long day on Friday and starting to play later than normal.... So I get sucked into the table after my Aces get cracked for the second time and donk it up with the table. Unfortunately my donking skills are lacking and I lose all 200 of my buy-in and sulk over to the blackjack table where I make it back.

Friday afternoon I had my first evaluation of my actual dealing skills. I take written tests REALLY well. I always have. However physical coordination and evaluation have never been my strong suit... Let's be honest, I am not the most athletically gifted person on the planet. So I was nervous... My best game to deal for me is Hold'em, followed by Omaha and then 7 card stud. So of course I am shaking nervous and they make me do Stud first... BAH! I throw one card off the table, can't control the rest of them and get graded very poorly on my stud game. The other 2 games go much better and I calm down, other than dragging a pot through the flop and messing it up I did fine and passed with a few comments

Saturday is moving day as I move into my new place. I get everything packed up and moved out, get my whole security deposit back and everything goes fairly smoothly. I don't get out to the poker tables until around 7 PM and stop for dinner at the NY NY "village" food court. The place is jam packed and I get a coney dog and am waiting for a table to open up to sit at when one finally does. I of course jump on it to sit down and notice 4 college cuties standing up at the counter in their clubbing outfits trying to eat chili and cheese fries and hotdogs with a knife and fork balanced on their hands... EEK! So I of course invite them to join me at the table which is plenty big for the 5 of us. They readily agree and we have a pleasant conversation about where they go to school and that is one of their birthdays and they are here for spring break, etc. They then tell me they are going to meet some more friends out clubbing tonight and what was I doing.

Now at this point in the story I have to decide how much of a dork I REALLY want to look like. If you really know me you know the answer I gave them which was "Oh, I am going to play poker on a saturday night by myself with a bunch of other guys no way I can go to the club". I really want to change the story to be some crazy night of dancing and making out with college girls on spring break in vegas... but well I can't. Everyone would know I was lying... so I gave them exactly the answer I put above and they gave me exactly the look every one of you has on your face right now... the ever famous head shake and "Richard is a dork" look. But really... Saturday nights are good for poker, lots of people play bad on the weekends.

This story would be REALLY good if I then told you I went to the MGM, made 100's of dollars playing poker and I am the smartest person EVER. It is nowhere NEAR as amazing if I tell you that I went played for only a few hours before being too tired to continue and went home and went to bed.

Look on the bright side... at least I didn't say "EWWW! They are girls stay away!". Does that help my image at all? No? Dang it!